The Train wreck in my head
Oh yes, I do believe in Jesus Christ our Savior and Lord, Amen to that. I can say it with confidence and standing there with a firm hand on it, I BELIEVE, YES! So why is it I feel a small sensation of conviction and taking a somewhat small but deep breath. I want to believe, I am pretty sure I do, BUT…, there it is BUUUT! If I do then why can’t I conquer my fears, where do these anxieties come from and the QUESTIONS, that pop up in my head, it feels like I doubt him. Oh my gosh, I am doubting him! But wait, the Bible says “Matthew 21:32 NIV
For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.
I am thankful that when I repent, that God is a forgiving God. Because my thoughts can really run away from me and the fact that I know some of the scriptures, gave me the ability to stop a run away train, tooting its whistle in my head. This tooting whistle I am talking about is that over whelming feeling of emotions, that leaves me feeling like I can not think clearly or see what my next step is, even though it lays right before me . A train wreck in my head can truly be a mess, leaving me with a layered junk pile that could take a life time to sort out. It has been hard at times trying to determine which side of my brain could be right and which side is wrong or just stuck in limbo from denial, so I would feel more inclined to lean more to believing Gods words verses the train wreck in my head and NOT to rely on my own understandings when it comes to the truth. As my mind settles down I get back on my path and continue in my journey of life with Jesus by my side. I also set aside the stone I stumbled on that laid with in my path, leaving it in my past as a lesson learned, I am not perfect in my thoughts not so straight and narrow, in fact rather curvy but I believe that my relationship with Jesus Christ helps me get back on track by giving me the ability to understand and my love and trust in him continues to grow each step of the way.
Think about it, if I did not have this relationship with Jesus, I would not have the ability to understand how to sort through this train wreck in my head, in fact with out Jesus I would continue to add to my layered pile of junk.
1 John 5:20 NIV
We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true--even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.
Romans 15:13 NIV
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.John 14:1 NIV
[Jesus Comforts His Disciples] "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me